


What You Take With You

by kira_khaleesi



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Solo is not a Jedi, Ben Solo never fell to the Dark Side, Canonical Character Death, F/M, New Republic, No First Order
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:46:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25089400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kira_khaleesi/pseuds/kira_khaleesi
Summary: After a living a peaceful life in the early ages of the New Republic, Ben Solo struggles to move on when his father dies.--on hiatus as of aug 19 2020--
Relationships: Leia Organa & Ben Solo & Han Solo, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11
Collections: 9 Squares Reylo Challenge





	What You Take With You

**Author's Note:**

> based on the prompt word: AUTUMN

Sometimes, Ben imagines a childhood where his father didn’t choose to stay. One where the great Han Solo made a different choice than to end his career prematurely to be at home with his only son, while his wife worked in the city.

A childhood filled with loneliness, filled with waiting for his father to return only to watch him leave again too soon. He imagines an adolescence filled with angst and unhappiness.

And he sees where that all leads; death. The death of his father, by Ben’s own hand.

At night, Ben dreams of this and wakes, shaking from how real that life seems. But whoever that life belongs to, it is not him.

Here, Ben has nothing but happy memories of his father and their life on Chandrila. They laugh together at the stuffiness of Leia’s political colleagues and suffer in solidarity through benefits and dinners and fundraisers for the New Republic. But through all of it, they have each other. Until one day, Ben does not have his father by his side any longer. 

Han Solo, someone larger than life and a figure so central, so important to who Ben is and who he has become, is gone. Ben never imagined his father getting old, and yet it happened.

When he asked his mother if any of Han’s family, his people, would attend the funeral, she shook her head solemnly. “We are his people.” she whispered quietly.

* * *

Han Solo died in the spring, leaving Ben to watch the flowers bloom for the first time without his father’s presence. He temporarily relocates out of his apartment, to be back in their family home in Hanna City and look after his mother. She won’t admit to her pain, her loss, her need for support in so many words. But she needs him there.

And so Ben is there.

For the first time in his life, he shares his feelings with someone who is not Han Solo. Ben spends time with his mother and tells her all about his ambitions, his fears, and the nightmares that plague him. She listens, grateful to have this time now. Painfully aware of her own mortality, Leia Organa treasures this summer with her only son.

It isn’t easy for either of them. Summer is when Ben is off from work, when he and his father usually travel. They visit Maz, stop by Luke’s, and hike the forests of Kashyyyk between naps in the trees.

This summer, he does none of that. Despite the warm weather and the beautiful scenery that surrounds him, Ben feels cold, weighed down by the absence of his father. He tries to engage, to live his life ignoring the colossal change that spring had brought, to no avail.

The summer passes in a blur.


End file.
